This may be TMI, but… Breastfeeding

So, this may be TMI, but, I’m a first time mother and I must vent about breastfeeding and the societal difficulties that come along with it.

I’ve been lucky enough to have been able to provide breastmilk for my son for his entire life so far. I work full time, and in order to be able to pump at work, I have to reserve a room for all my pump sessions. The room is located two floors up from where I work, in another organization’s space. It’s the only room in the building where I am allowed to do what I need to do to provide for my son.

Breastfeeding

I’ve loved breastfeeding my son. It’s been rewarding for me, as I feel like it has created this strong bond between us and tuned our bodies to one another’s. It’s also rewarding for him. My body creates the milk that is suited for his body alone. When he nurses, little parts of his spit goes into my nipples, telling my body what my son needs. If he’s sick, I give him antibodies. If he needs more of a nutrient, I give it to him from my own personal stores.

Maternity and Postpartum culture in America

Now I definitely hate the maternity and postpartum culture in America. There is no mandatory paid maternity leave. I had to combine my sick hours, vacation hours, and personal hours to use for my three months of maternity leave. I am one of the lucky Americans that gets to accumulate all those hours to be able to use for this, but it’s still not fair. I’m producing a child. Why do I have to give up personal sick hours to be able to help him in the very beginning of his life when he needs me the most? What if I get cancer? If having children is good for the future of America, why is paid maternity leave not a priority here? Especially when it is something that all other first world countries have.

My son received a letter from the President and First Lady welcoming him to the world. Thank you, Mr. President, but in Denmark, I would get almost a year of paid leave and a gift basket welcoming him to the world. I would much rather have that.

Breastmilk only for first six months

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that a child consumes only breastmilk (or formula) for the first six months of their life. To me, that means that the mother and child should be together for the first six months. I should not have to go back to work for at least six months so I can start my son’s life the healthiest way possible.

Working full time

Working full time, it is really hard to produce enough breastmilk for my son. I have to add pump times before work in the morning, right after work when we get home, after he eats dinner, then after he nurses before bed. I have to add all these just to be able to produce the milk that he needs. When I hear about mothers having nursing problems, the majority of them are working full time. It is so hard to provide enough breastmilk when working full time.

I went on vacation for two weeks. I didn’t pump, but I was on demand for my son. When I went back to work, I was pumping so much more milk. In those two weeks, my body reacted to my son’s full time milk needs and I had no problem supplying milk. Now I’m back at work and am struggling to keep my milk flowing. I hate it.

TMI

Here’s where the TMI comes in. I’ve had three crises so far where I basically stopped producing milk. Just about nothing came out when I pumped during these crises. I’m in the middle of my third crisis right now (hence, this angry post). When I pump, I get drops. It’s like squeezing blood from a stone. Pumping is basically useless. I’m trying so hard to get to that 12 month mark, when my son can start having cow’s milk. I’m close, but not quite there. This lack of milk has been marring my life. I’ve tripled my pumping sessions. I’ve been drinking so much water and eating everything that is supposed to up my milk production. I have no problems nursing my son. My milk just doesn’t let down when I pump.

All this has me thinking about how unnatural and unfairly we treat mothers during their maternity and postpartum periods.  I just wanted to share my anguish with other mothers so they know that they are not alone. This maternity and infant business is so difficult in America. They don’t make it easy here.